Stop Picking the 'Wrong One': An IFS Guide to Conscious Dating & Matchmaking
IFS Matchmaking combines Internal Family Systems therapy with traditional matchmaking to help you identify the internal parts—like your Managers, Exile, and Firefighters —that influence your dating choices. By dating from your 'Self,' you can break old patterns and find a truly compatible partner.
As a certified matchmaker and therapist in New Haven, Connecticut, and combine my experiences as an IFIO Couples Therapist and IFS Individual therapist with my matchmaking services.
Why traditional matchmaking can leave us disappointed.
Our preferences in finding the right partner for us, such as their appearance, education, career, and interests, don’t account for the internal ‘parts’ of us — parts inside who often have unmet needs, if not attached wounds.
Stop looking for outside "The One" and start inside looking for the parts of you that keep picking "The Wrong One."
Traditional matchmaking can do a fantastic job of matching you with someone based on your relationship goals, preferences, and values -- yet not necessarily on your internal systems of parts and their unmet needs, which is what my Services include. How so?
How Your Internal ‘Parts’ Influence Your Dating & Relationships
To begin, we have different types of parts:
Managers are the parts of us who seek for "safety" or "status", but might ignore emotional connection.
Exiles parts carry old attachment wounds, if not also trauma, and might be why someone feels "no good enough" or "unlovable" in dating.
Firefighter parts then get alarmed if Exiles are activated, also seeking safety, yet cause us to become emotionally dysregulated into fight or flight, and/or shut down and ghost someone.
So if if your "Manager" part is choosing partners based on status, but your "Exile" is starving for emotional depth, and your ‘Firefighter’ gets in your own way — even with a highly compatible date —you’ll continue to be dissatisfied.
So Let’s Consider How Internal Family Systems Improves Dating:
*Who inside is actually writing your dating app profile -- and looking more outward than inward first?
Interested in learning more?
Download my free Self-led Dating Checklistand Contact me:
